Dear Universe, Thank You

People hear gratitude and picture an influencer holding an overpriced green juice, captioned with some cliche statement like “choose joy ✨.” Eff that.

I mean, yes. They are practicing gratitude, but it doesn't always come with picture perfect context.

Gratitude isn’t only about the good stuff; it’s what keeps you from losing your damn mind when the universe kicks you in the teeth.

Anyone can be thankful when life looks like a Pinterest board. The test is when you’re knee-deep in frustrations or stress—getting laid off, ending a relationship, sitting in a hospital waiting room. That’s when gratitude becomes armor. Not the toxic-positivity kind, but the duct tape kind that keeps your sanity together when everything feels impossible.

Think about the last time someone treated you like garbage. Instead of spiraling into “why me?” what if you said, “thanks for putting this asshole in my path to teach me this lesson”?

That tiny shift flips you from victim to agent of your own story. You can’t control what happened, but you can control how you frame it. And sometimes, that’s exactly what makes it bearable.

Gratitude Isn't Just a Word

Gratitude is powerful not because it sounds nice but because it legit rewires your brain.

In 2024, researchers found that gratitude strengthens psychological resilience: the ability to bounce back after life wrecks you. Resilience mediates how gratitude leads to prosocial behavior, which means grateful people not only cope better but also show up more helpfully for others.

Gratitude doesn’t just make you less miserable; it makes you more human.

Another 2024 study from Baylor University found that gratitude reduces cortisol, that nasty stress hormone that spikes when you’re spiraling at 3 a.m. It also improves sleep, boosts relationships, and increases life satisfaction. Gratitude literally helps your body chill the hell out. And when your body calms down, your mind can follow.

That’s not woo-woo, it’s biology. Gratitude shifts your baseline, making it easier to notice the good, suffer less from rumination, and cope with the bullshit life throws at you.

So when people roll their eyes at the idea of “practicing gratitude,” remind yourself: it’s not about ignoring pain. It’s about using a free, evidence-backed mental hack that makes you less likely to drown in it.

Gratitude When Life Sucks

The easiest time to be grateful is when everything is going your way. The hardest—and most important—time is when life is a dumpster fire.

The trick is to avoid turning gratitude into a weapon against yourself. Gratitude should never sound like, “others have it worse, so I should be grateful.” That’s mental self-harming. Your pain is real, no matter what anyone else is going through. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain; it sits beside it.

What gratitude does in the middle of stress is force you to search for meaning, growth, or small glimmers of light. It’s not denial; it’s reframing, and that reframing is what keeps you moving forward.

How to Practice This Shit

• Gratitude journaling: Write three to five things you’re grateful for daily. They don’t need to be profound—“coffee was hot” or “didn’t text my ex” are victories worth noting.
• Phone-notes logs: Use your Notes app as a running gratitude list. Seeing it written down helps your brain process it.
• Thank the universe (or God, or yourself): Out loud, in your head, or scribbled down. Just say “thanks” for the lesson, even if it came wrapped in barbed wire.
• Gratitude in relationships: Tell people what you appreciate about them, and be specific. “Thanks for listening to my rant without judgment” goes further than a generic “you’re awesome.”
• Reframing the negative: Use the “bad-but-still” method. “This sucks, but still…I learned something.”
• Micro-meditations: Spend five minutes focusing on one good thing and one hard thing. Thank both. It’s emotional weightlifting.
• Visual reminders: Post-its, phone alarms, or favorite photos can be cues to pause and ask, “what am I grateful for right now?”

Gratitude as Agency

Gratitude gives you back authorship over your own narrative.

Life will always deliver crap: layoffs, heartbreak, migraines, toddlers screaming “but whyyyy” at 6 a.m. Gratitude doesn’t stop any of it, but it changes the story you tell yourself about it. Instead of “this ruined me,” you can shift into “this shaped me.” That’s agency.

Cognitive reappraisal—a principle from cognitive behavioral therapy—is one of my faves. When you reinterpret an event, you change how it impacts you emotionally.

Gratitude makes reappraisal easier because it forces you to hunt for meaning or lessons. Another concept, post-traumatic growth, shows that many people emerge from trauma with stronger relationships, new meaning, or a deeper appreciation for life.

Gratitude is often the bridge between raw pain and growth.

Bottom line: gratitude isn’t permission to stay in shitty situations. Saying “thank you, universe, for showing me this lesson” doesn’t mean you keep the asshole in your life. It means you’ve taken the lesson, owned it, and now have the clarity to move on.

Making Gratitude a Habit

Doing something once is easy. Doing it consistently, especially when you feel like shit, is the test. Gratitude works like a muscle—the more you use it, the stronger it gets. The easiest way to make it stick is to attach it to things you already do. After brushing your teeth, jot down one grateful thought. Before bed, type one note in your phone. Keep it simple: one sentence is enough.

The point isn’t to rack up perfect streaks or fill a whole notebook. The point is persistence, even when you don’t feel like it. Especially then.

🗯️ Shit to Think About

→ What’s the hardest thing that’s happened to you lately, and what’s one lesson you could eventually thank it for?

→ When was the last time you said “thank you” for something awful, and how did it shift how you saw the situation?

→ What’s one gratitude habit you could actually stick to this week?