Purpose Without the Bullshit

We’ve been spoon-fed the same recycled line for years: find your purpose.

Like it’s some sort of scavenger hunt, hiding between your morning coffee and that unread stack of self-help books on your nightstand. And if you don’t find it? Guess what—you’re failing at life.

You're not, btw.

I'll say it: your purpose isn’t something you stumble across on a meditation retreat or found in a pretty-colored Instagram carousel. It’s not even something you do.

Your purpose is who you are. Full stop.

And right now, in a world of endless scrolling, highlight reels, and comparison traps, that’s harder than ever to believe.

Why We’re So Goddamn Lost

Let’s talk about why so many of us feel hollow as hell. It’s not because we’re lazy or unmotivated, it’s because the world is designed to keep us distracted.

Every time you open your phone, you’re shoved into an involuntary game of comparison. Someone’s got a better body, a cooler job, a prettier house plant collection. Another friend just “soft launched” their relationship while you’re soft launching therapy for the third time this year.

Science says this shit is wrecking us.

• A 2024 study found that social comparison on social media has a moderate impact on depression (Ahmad).
• Another 2024 study showed that upward comparisons—measuring yourself against people who seem “better”—trash your self-esteem and crank up depressive symptoms (Burnell).

So no, you’re not dramatic when you feel like scrolling leaves you drained. You’re living inside a system designed to make you feel less-than, then keep you hooked anyway.

Doomscrolling is Purpose-Repellent

A 2025 study in Applied Research in Quality of Life found that people who can’t tolerate uncertainty have a harder time feeling like their life has meaning.

Now think about this. What is doomscrolling if not one giant stream of uncertainty?

• Will the next post make you laugh, cry, rage, or spiral?
• Will today’s trending news headline ruin your mood before you finish your cereal?
• Will that one person finally text you back or just post another thirst trap?

It’s unpredictable. It’s chaotic. And it keeps your brain revved up on novelty instead of grounded in meaning.

That’s why scrolling feels like crap. Not only does it waste your time, it literally hijacks your ability to feel purposeful, because you're actively choosing to live through the lens of someone else's truth.

Purpose Isn’t About What You Do

The Global Meaningfulness Index 2024 says meaning in life comes from four drivers:

1. Purpose (duh, but not the job-title kind)
2. Guidance (having a sense of direction)
3. Belonging (community and connection)
4. Personal growth (knowing you’re evolving)

Notice what’s missing? “How much you earn.” “How many likes you got.” “Whether you can monetize your crochet hobby.”

Your purpose is about identity and values, not achievements. It’s the way you show up: kind, creative, honest, resilient—no matter what you’re doing.

That’s why someone flipping burgers at McDonald’s can be living more purposefully than a burnt-out VP chasing another meaningless title.

How to Start Noticing Your Purpose

Good news: you don’t need a $6,000 mastermind, a trip to Sedona, or a life coach who calls herself a “soul doula.” You just need to stop distracting yourself long enough to notice what’s already sitting in your lap.

Here’s where research meets some lived wisdom:

1. Look at Your Values

And no, I don’t mean the keywords you slap on a resume to sound employable: “hardworking,” “team player,” “results-driven.” Barf.

Think about the stuff you’d actually want carved on your tombstone. Are you creative? Brave? Funny as hell even when life sucker-punches you? Those are your compass.

If you can’t name them, try this: what do you hate when other people betray? If dishonesty drives you nuts, then honesty is probably a core value. If flakiness makes you want to throw your phone, reliability is one of your values. You can reverse-engineer this shit.

2. Pay Attention to What Makes You Mad

Anger isn’t just irritation, it’s a neon sign pointing straight to what matters.

If injustice pisses you off, maybe your purpose is tied to fairness. If fake influencers selling “authenticity” make you gag, maybe realness is your thing.

We’re so quick to treat anger like a flaw, but research (and common sense) says it’s fuel. That fire is often the clearest indicator of what you’re here to stand for. Ignore it, and you’re just repressing your own compass.

3. Find Belonging

Belonging is one of the top drivers of meaning. Which means purpose doesn’t exist in a vacuum.

Find your people. Not 10,000 followers who never engage with you—your people. The ones who text you dumb memes at midnight, or actually check in when you disappear from group chat. Even two people who get your weird humor are worth more than an audience of strangers clapping for a version of you that isn’t real.

And if you don’t have those people yet? Go find spaces that don’t feel like an audition. Discord servers, local volunteer gigs, trivia night at the bar—whatever. Stop waiting for a “squad” to magically appear. Go where you can breathe.

4. Practice Self-Compassion

This one’s hard, because most of us would rather roast ourselves alive than give ourselves a break.

People who can tell themselves “hey, I’m human, it’s okay” though, don’t spiral as hard when they see someone shinier online.

So quit acting like you’re the one exception who doesn’t deserve grace. Treat yourself the way you’d treat a friend having a meltdown. Would you tell them they’re worthless because they didn’t launch a six-figure side hustle by Tuesday? Fuck no.

You’d tell them to breathe, eat something, and try again tomorrow. Start doing that for yourself.

Why Purpose Matters More Than Ever

We’re living in an anxiety economy. Layoffs and climate collapse. AI taking jobs faster than you can say “ChatGPT, write my resume.”

Without purpose, uncertainty becomes crushing. With purpose, you’ve got an anchor. You stop being tossed around by every headline, every algorithm shift, every flex from a stranger online.

Another thing: your purpose doesn’t have to look impressive. It's probably not going to come with money, or titles, or applause. Although those are nice.

Sometimes purpose is just living in line with your values and your weird little quirks, day after day, without an audience.

That's the shit that matters.

Try If You’re Lost

You don’t need to reinvent your life (unless you're me and enjoy that kind of thing). Start small.

• Delete one app for a week. Watch how your brain unclogs.
• Write your top three values on a sticky note. Check in daily.
• Take one micro-action. Hold the door open, journal your thoughts, send a kind text. Purpose lives in the tiny stuff.
• Find community offline. Call a friend. Go to trivia night. Join a local class. Algorithms don’t build belonging (for the most part)—IRL people do.
• Practice self-compassion. When you feel behind, remind yourself: comparison is poison. You’re not failing. You are human.

🗯️ Shit to Think About

→ If Instagram shut down tomorrow, who would you be without the highlight reel?

→ What do you care about so much it makes you mad?

→ When nobody’s watching, do your actions line up with your values?